On par. Up to par. Is par. At par. Above par. Below par. Par. Par was my “word of choice” for 2011. I gave myself permission to be. Just to be. There were a few months there where I actually forgot what my word was, so I had to come back here to my Jan 2011 post to look it up! That strikes me as funny, definitely a below par sense of memory there!
But the word was in there, in my unconscious, doing its thing anyway. Perhaps it’s a little like the riddle over what comes first, the chicken or the egg, because I’m pretty sure that I chose that word because the riddle of its meaning was already present in my life. Now was just the time to delve into it a bit more deeply.
So, did having a word affect my approach to 2011? Did it make a difference? I think it did. Not in any magical way, but just taking the time at the beginning of the year to think about what was important to me put an intention out there.
Par is a good word in and of itself, but it is also an acronym for Playful, Authentic and Responsible. Choosing the word “playful” gave me permission to play in a deeper, less self-conscious way. Paying attention to being authentic meant that I looked more closely at my behavior as I peeked behind my masks. And I definitely noticed myself stepping back and being less driven about doing things in my normal “must be perfect” way. In fact, a lot of things I didn’t do at all!
The problem came with the word “responsible”, for that word raised lots of questions. Responsible to whom? And for what? And why? And what really mattered, anyway? That’s the part of par that I’m still trying to figure out. Which brings me to my word for 2012: embrace.
For me that word means moving past observing and noticing things, which I’m pretty good at, into wrapping my arms around them and engaging with them. I looked up the definition and found words like seize, embody, accept willingly, receive gladly or eagerly, to clasp. Hmmm. Sounds a bit dramatic for that part of me that tends to step back and watch a while before making a commitment to action. But here I go.
I looked through my picture files for something that embodied the word embrace. The closest that I came was the feeling of love with which the Pippsywoggin, Winnie Viola, holds close to her bosom her cup of warm tea. Switch that beverage to coffee and I can feel it!
Who knows, I may even get so I LIKE the sharing of hugs at my spiritual community’s weekly gathering …